"My brothers were angry with me and made me work in the vineyard. I had no time to care for myself." verse 6b GNB
The challenge of personal walk with the Lord is here for me again. Though I should know how to wedge the enemy's accusations, I ought not to neglect my personal spiritual health. I must not get burnt out and famished on the field of public ministry. Public ministry is not a worthy exchange for my inner life and personal walk with the Saviour. If I lose my freshness and my anointing because I allow myself to be tanned by the sun on the vineyard labours, even the brethren will be angry with me. Many look up to me for light and guidance. They long to keep tapping fresh grace from my life and from the depth of His resources in my life. I will be a terrible disappointment to this generation if I allow myself to be fagged out too early. It will be a waste of the grace of God.
The irony is here! You would think the brethren, my mother’s sons will sympathize with me for being tanned and darkened by the hot sun as I run around the family vineyards at the expense of mine. Once I lose the luster of a fresh life and I begin to bring forth foul smell of a fagged out life, they get nauseated with me and look elsewhere. Ministry at the expense of my personal growth of my inner man is not worth it. It is never a credential for heaven. It is the life I maintained fresh and fervent in Christ that recommends me to men and even to God.
This is the deception I must not fall into. It is a deception to hang on the public ministry when I have lost hold of the grace that keeps me in line with the purpose of Him who called me. It is a deception to bank on the applause of the ignorant crowd when I get dissipated in the secret place of personal communion. When the colour my skin begins to change, their countenance towards me will also turn in the negative.
Tell me, O you whom I love, Where you feed your flock, Where you make it rest at noon. For why should I be as one who veils herself by the flocks of your companions? What a place to turn! To Him whom I love, even Jesus who gave Himself for me I must turn for refreshing. He feeds His flock and keeps them fresh even at noon. He does not exhaust anyone who walks with Him. He is the good shepherd… and truly He is my shepherd.
"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name's sake." Psa 23:1-3 NKJV
He makes me to lie down in green pastures. I must agree to lie down for watering and for the feeding in the green pastures for my own soul. He leads me where there is fresh and still waters. He cares about refreshing and restoring my soul. For His own name, He would not let me fade out and become so haggard and famished, as sheep without shepherd. He leads me in the paths of righteousness. If I should get tanned by the sun and become so dry and dreary, it only shows I have left my place in the flock. I must have strayed out there with strange ambition, even if it be to preach and be known on the pulpit. I must remain a sheep in his flock. Though a minister, I must not evade receiving ministry for my own soul. I must learn to follow in the footsteps of the flock. I must learn to wait along with all the flock for His watering. I am also and ever in the flock of His pasture.
"But those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint. "
Isa 40:31 NKJV
But to the question “Where do you feed your flock? Where you make it rest at noon? Why am I so blinded and veiled? Look at the loving and gentle answer from the Lord and it is always so…
If you do not know, O fairest among women, Follow in the footsteps of the flock, And feed your little goats Beside the shepherds' tents.
Follow in the footsteps of the flock. It is the same old way all the flocks of the Lord have been kept. It is to come back to the Shepherd’s tent and feed. It is to return from running about here and there. There is nothing fresh in the wilderness. It is still at His feet that I will find all that I need to run my race to the very end without getting burnt out. Mary of Bethany has chosen the one thing that is needful and no one will take it away from her. Help me to deliberately make it my choice and to keep at it. Let me be a man among the flock that learns to lie down at your feet for daily feeding. At noon time, when the sun is overhead, there is the canopy of His love spread over those who dwell in the secret place of the Most high and who abides under the shadow of the Almighty.
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